Today, I sent off the final piece of a separation. Not a romantic relationship, nor a business venture. Not even a death.

Today, I mailed off the final documents that removed me from having anything to do with my father’s living trust. Due to unforeseen circumstances, and how the trust was made, I was placed in a position where what I needed to legally manage on behalf of my father was not what the paperwork ultimately said. In doing what I believed I was legally and morally bound to do, was not what everyone else wanted…but I was not allowed to be part of the conversations when the trust was created.

All that resulted in, was that every phone call was about the money.

That was the worry.
Not asking how I was.
Not trying to connect on any deeper level.
Just had I done XYZ yet…and the problem was I couldn’t do XYZ because the trust did not give me that kind of power.

Wasn’t it understood what the document said?

It finally got to a point where my mental health couldn’t take being seen solely as a gatekeeper of something, instead of a daughter who was mentally traumatized by how her mother chose to die, while having to come in during the last 2 months of her existence to handle everything. Which was a trial by fire because the situation was entirely hidden by both my parents.

After one difficult phone call where I felt attacked for having to explain these legal documents again — that I never was allowed assist their creation (and I work with legal contracts for my job) I finally decided I had to step down. I couldn’t continue trying to do a job as it was legally laid out, when those who created the documents were asking me to do something else.

So today I mailed off the form to the IRS and a separate packet filled with copies of everything for my father. Both will get the mailings on Monday.

Part of me is relieved that it’s done.
Part of me feels like a failure because “I couldn’t do it”, “I couldn’t step up”.
Part of me feels like I’ve lost my family somehow, because I said “I can’t anymore.”
Part of me fears that did i make the right call now, protecting my peace, when I couldn’t growing up or the last 3 years… but at what cost?

There is so much to unpack. I don’t think it had quite hit me yet… that my involvement since December 2023, when the trainwreck happened, is finally over with.