©ESR 2007

⚠️**Content Advisory**: This poem contains references to spiritual manipulation, false accusations surrounding sexual violence, religious hypocrisy, and betrayal. It reads as both a reckoning and an unfiltered call for accountability. It is not here to invite debate on trauma.**

This poem was written as a response to a betrayal. A former college roommate (very religious) accused me (a nature-based spiritual path at the time) of summoning a demon to rape her. She was aware of my childhood assault, so how she could think I could hurt anyone, much less on any sexual level, destroyed me. (forget the demon summoning BS.). She left me a 3 page letter threatening me, got her church friends to harass me, and even sent an anonymous letter to my employment to try and get me fired, slandering me that I whore myself behind the building during my shift.
I never understood why she turned on me. This poem was my way of calling her out.

It came as a surprise
since I wasn’t expecting
an attack from behind

Your words were well chosen
through you made a mistake
and don’t realize what you are losing
but there more to me than your stake

You made such accusations
blaming me for your incompetence
You lied about the rape—
You lied to those who loved you

You didn’t warn- to save others
Forgive me but isn’t that a Christian rule?
Then you skip classes expecting to pass
that your pity scheme would work?

So tell me—what really happened?
Did you choose him too?

Did the Devil make you parade in that nighty?
You teased him into the bedroom?
Then you blame me – calling me the Devil
and pulling “come to Jesus and be saved” speech

I got your notes- Now so does Dusty.
You drove me off simply because
I called the Divine a different name- and refused to believe your damn lies

You thought you could bring me to my knees
I don’t kneel. Not for gods. Not for liars.

So, tell me…please
what you expected to happen
tell me…please